Caption reads: "I've told my G.P. – all my medication must be alcohol tolerant!"

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Caption reads: "What's the scariest thing you've got – for someone who thinks he's really tough!"

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Caption reads: "Someone must have mentioned the Millionaire in the kitchen!"

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Caption reads: "OK Gran... who am I tonight? P.A.? Niece? Driver?!"

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Caption reads: "I can't see me in a Babydoll and Suspenders... can you?!"

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Caption reads: "Another wedding - I must go shopping!"

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Caption reads: "Where there is conflict... - may we bring Beaujolais!"

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Caption reads: "OK 1 hour of Sport equals 20 minutes Nice To My Mother!"

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Caption reads: "A Birthday to Remember!"

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One of our BRAND NEW "LIFE ACTUALLY!" card range of 'only-too-true' humour for the times we live and grow old disgracefully in!

Caption reads: "I dreamt I was playing strip poker with Marilyn Monroe."

"Did you play to win?!"

 

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Caption reads: "I dreamt you jumped out of a cake naked!"

"That's nice darling... was it that Nigella recipe?!"

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Caption reads: "Sorry darling - but I really have to keep an eye on the Workman!"

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Caption reads: "They say a woman shouldn't drink alone!" "I say - so get me George Clooney's number!"

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Caption reads: "The other wives will adore you - especially when you tell them you've just had twins!"

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Caption reads: "I go to you just in time!"
"Yes, because I'm forty next week!"

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Caption reads: "Forget Botox...! Just get the right bra and who's looking at your forehead!"

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Caption reads: "He says I'm illogical... then asks me where his lucky sweater is!"

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Caption reads: "Last night I dreamt about Gordon Ramsay!"

"Any tips about gravy love?...!"

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Caption reads: "I like this Hotel... I'm a kilo lighter than I am at home!"

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Caption reads: "We're both So looking forward to having you here!"

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"Baedeker Ben had a yen to roam
He didn't want to "STAY!" at home,
With trousers brushed and nice clean paws
He stowed away on culture tours."

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Stevie had a canny eye
And big ideas in his head
But he kept his thoughts
In a nice safe place
With his favourite bone,
In his bed!

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Safe again upon the shore
Lancelot sniffed – and sniffed some more;
He dreamed of Feats of Gallantry,
Then wondered "Is it time for tea?"

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When you're young you leap and run
On springy grass and rocks for fun,
But when you're old your main desire
Is regular grub and a roaring fire.

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Buster, sage as sage could be
Lived his whole life hopefully –
Hoped for sausage every night
But ate anything up,
To be polite.
 

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Bertie was a fearless Mutt –
Though his courage had a "but"
He suffered from a fear of Mice –
But kept a Cat; so that was nice.

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The philosophy of Terrier Byng
Was simply "size ain't everything"
With short strong legs and spine elastic,
His turn of speed was quite fantastic.

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To Trio, (Collie-cross Retriever),
Beauty 'ere was a deceiver
Yet a faithful heart's worth more,
Than pedigrees and a perfect score...

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Barnaby Brown was most impressed
By an aristocratic Poodle
But soon he found, to his distress
Thee was nothing in her noodle.

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Badger was brilliant with a ball
And in the League could beat 'em all
But sadly his mistress – what a fool!
Never explained the off-side rule...

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A handsome and a clever cat,
Harry avoided getting fat
By eating Salmon served with rice
And exercising once or twice.

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Living in the town is fine –
I keep my people well in line;
Nevertheless, you have to keep
An eye for pesky, roaming sheep.

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Bowzer hailed from Notting Hill
And regularly gave a thrill
To passengers on Bus route 9
As an acrobatic feline!

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If you just steer clear of the kicking end
A Horse can be a Dog's best friend!

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Claude is a dog who seldom strays
Loves wet pursuits and country ways
Even in August, Claude excels
At finding mud that really SMELLS!

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Barty's owners regard him
With great love and affection
But even they might feel quite cross
If they new of his Collection!

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Archie Wentworth Gerard-Pole
Is such a determined Ratter
Even if it's a Rabbit hole
It doesn't seem to matter!

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Sophie was a country hound
With really awful luck
When told to "Seek!" she never found
And couldn't abide a Duck!

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Harry and Buster had a plan
To liberate a leg of Lamb
Harry climbed up, pushed it over,
Buster caught it – both in clover!
And so they proved beyond a doubt
That cats and dogs can work it out.

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Polly was good at finding sticks
The longer the better, strong and thick
The trouble started at journey's end –
The pesky things just couldn't bend!
She proudly brought them home to show
But the blooming things just wouldn't go!

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Groucho looked a tad ferocious
And his manners were atrocious
Until one birthday he was smitten
By a bossy fearsome kitten.

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There certainly was a Frog in there!
So sticking his head in – to give a scare
Patch found the can a perfect fit –
The Fire Brigade got rid of it...

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"You can never be too rich or too thin"
Said the Abyssinian in Abyssin.
"You can be as thick as two short planks"
Said Lucifer, the feisty Manx.

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Trixie loved to take swim –
In Broads or river, plunging in
Her family, wise by the second time
Kept her attached by a nice strong line.

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Sebastian at parties –
When the conversation froze
He entranced the visiting smarties
By balancing objects on his nose!

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Caption reads: "Men are wonderful – or so they say!"

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Caption reads: "Men are like Cheeses & Fine Wine – So Much Better When Mature!"

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Caption reads: "Choose the Guy with the Terrible Tie – He's Probably Not Married!"

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Caption reads: "Never Throw Yourself at a Guy – Unless He's a Really Good Catch!"

      

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Caption reads: "Don't Judge a Man By His Sweater – You Can Burn it in the Morning!"

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Caption reads: "If Only Men Could Read Our Minds – We Wouldn't Have to Shout!"

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Caption reads: "The Road to Hell is Paved With Good Martinis!"

 

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Caption reads: "All Men Are the Same, Darling – They Just Have Different Names"

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Caption reads: "Take Your Nice Normal Guy – Quick – Before They're All Gone!"

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Caption reads: "Choose the Man With Shiny Shoes – He Already Has a Cleaner!"

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Caption reads: "Choose the man who makes you laugh – Laughter keeps you young!"

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Caption reads: "Life is too short to date dull men!"

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Caption reads: 'Three little words men find hard to say – "Let's go shopping!"

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Caption reads: "Flowers are for Romantics – Diamonds are forever!"

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Caption reads: "Go for the best man in the room – Deal with the rest later!"

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Caption reads: "Attraction is all about Chemistry – but don't neglect the Maths!"

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Caption reads: "Girls are from the Future – Men are from the Caves – check his Flat!"

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Caption reads: "Save the Planet – Recycle your Men!"

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Caption reads: "Always leave a man as you hope to find him!"

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Caption reads: "Don't choose a man for his hair – he'll only lose it!"

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Caption reads: "Only a man would climb a mountain – just because it's there!"

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Caption reads: "Choose a man with sisters – he's already trained!"

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Caption reads: "When all's said and done – make sure he's done what you said!"

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Caption reads: "Some men are like the Banks – plenty of interest – but only if you're rich!"

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Caption reads: "My mother says a guy who promises you the moon usually costs the earth!"

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Caption reads: "When I fall hard for a man, it's usually from a bar stool!"

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Caption reads: "Losing a man is easy – just take him home to meet daddy!"

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Caption reads: "Life isn't always kind – but a good man is!"

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Caption reads: "If all the men were laid end to end – it would be so much tidier!"

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Caption reads: "A good man's value is greater than rubies – but rubies are a safer investment!"

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LOTTIE & CO. are charming & witty feminine greeting cards for all sorts of occasions. The 7x5" series is presented on high-quality silk texture coated board, is gloss varnished and comes with colour co-ordinated envelopes. The reverse of the card reveals a funny or poignant detail blown up from Lizi's original illustration.

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Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No. 49 – SHOP!"

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Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No.3!"

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Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No.6 – Marry Prince Charming!"

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Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No.8 – Go Get "Em!"

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Caption reads: "Lets Party!"

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Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No.7 – Show Off!"

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Caption reads: "Girl Talk!"

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   Caption reads: "Ways to De-Stress No.9 – Have a Giggle!"

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Caption reads: "Thankyou!"

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Caption reads: "Well Done!"

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Caption reads: "Let's Lunch!"

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Caption reads: "Get Well Soon!"

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Caption reads: "Miss You Already!"

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Caption reads – "Blissful Baby Girl!"

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"Let's Decorate!"

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"On Your Wedding Day!"

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NEW Lottie & Co Card – "Happy 18!"

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"Brilliant Baby Boy"

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One of the latest LOTTIE & CO cards – our cute occasions range – cards are blank inside for personal message.

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Engagement!

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"Best Dad!"

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